Dear Lindsey,
When my son was four, he sat quietly at a table and dumped the pieces to a puzzle, spreading them out to begin. He said to me, “Mom, pretty soon you are going to hear a big ‘TAH DAH!’ but first… there’s going to be a lot of work!”
I wonder if that is what God thinks when we first recognize our desire to follow Him.
As I continued my walk in my journey of pride diagnosis, I came to the next symptom:
Wanting to Correct
I don’t believe the Bible mentions the “gift of reproach” as one of the spiritual gifts, but girl, I think I lived much of my life thinking I had it! Maybe it was growing up with three brothers (who certainly had a lot to learn from me. Tongue-in-cheek.) or being blessed with talents, A’s and no cavities, but somehow along the way, I developed a critical eye: a sign of pride.
How do I tell her she needs to dress differently?
I need to write the school about that teacher.
How can a deacon of the church let his child do THAT on Sunday?
Galatians 6:2-5 says that we should bear one another’s burdens and every man bear his own burden.
If I am thinking of ways to correct someone, I am hardly carrying their burden. In fact, every minute I think about correcting someone is a minute I have not spent worshipping the Lord, or improving myself. I love the saying that if 80% of the problem is my husband’s (or friend’s or teammate’s) and 20% of the problem is my own, then I need to spend 100% of my time working on the 20% that is my own! Every minute spent on stressing “rules” to someone else is often a deterrent from allowing them the “relationship” with God.
(note: The Bible does talk about reproof (James 5:20 for example), and there is a proper time; this “pride” about which I am talking is not Biblical reproof. The recommended reading below clarifies the difference.)
Each morning before school, I try to read to my children from a devotional book. The following story comes from A Wisdom Retreat (book 1), by Stephen Davey. On Day 19, entitled The Aisle Seat, Davey best describes someone who chose to worship God instead of correcting His people:
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“Rebecca Pippert, in her fascinating book entitled Out of the Salt Shaker and into the World told the story of her arrival in Portland, Oregon, where she met Bill, one of the students on the campus where she served. He was a brilliant young man with messy hair and, as she recalls, he was perpetually shoeless. From outward appearances he was a little strange, but inwardly he was inquisitive and incredibly bright.
One day Bill decided to attend a middle-class church that was across the street from the campus. He walked into this church of well-dressed people in his tattered jeans, tee shirt, and, of course, barefooted. In truth, this was the first time he’d ever been inside a church sanctuary.
People looked a bit uncomfortable, but no one said anything as Bill walked down the aisle looking for a seat. The church was quite crowded that Sunday and as he came to the front pew he realized there were no seats left. So without any hesitation, he sat down on the carpet in the middle of the aisle, the same place he sat when his Christian friends invited him as they met for Bible study. He casually crossed his legs and waited for the service to begin.
The tension was palpable as people murmured, craning their necks to see the stranger in the aisle. Then one of the elderly deacons – a man who was well-respected in the church – began walking down the aisle toward the student. Rebecca’s friends who witnessed this scene told her that they whispered to each other, “Well, you can’t exactly blame him for scolding the guy…he is a disruption to the service!”
As the well-groomed deacon neared Bill, the church was deathly quiet. All eyes were glued front and center to see what would happen next. With some difficulty, the old man lowered himself to the floor and sat down next to Bill. He crossed his legs and shared his hymnal with the college-aged boy. The crowd was stunned.
That Sunday the deacon not only worshiped there on the floor, but he reminded the congregation how to worship.”
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C.S. Lewis says that the greatest enemy of Christianity’s growth is …Christians. What?! “The greatest enemy of Christianity’s growth is [sinful] Christians.” (OK, I added a word.) Well of course we are! I bet I stunted the growth with my very own lips at times, correcting people for things that didn’t even matter to Jesus himself. Prideful people take the light off of the Lord and put it onto themselves.
God doesn’t need me; I need God. Anytime that role is changed, my pride is in the way and those around me suffer. (Aside: PLEASE, if you have been hurt by one of these “special people with the gift of correcting,” look beyond them, and rise above to forgive. God has a bigger plan for you! Christians are not perfect (not even your spouse!), or they would not need a Savior Who is!) May we follow that deacon’s example and worship God instead of working on His people in our hearts and actions today.
In love,
Terri Brady
Psalm 19:14 May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, o Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
Recommended reading:
Instrument in the Redeemer’s Hands by Paul David Tripp
Related Posts about Pride
Letters to Lindsey 
Terri,
I loved that story! Thank you so much for your wisdom.
Wow, Terri, once again you’ve touched the spot that needs it most. Thanks for your inspired words & devotion to God & His own. I certainly appreciate your experience & willingness to share it with me.
Pride is one of the things I feel like I work on daily, only to grow in realization of how prideful I really am. Great food for thought today. Thanks for sharing Terri!
Just this morning I prayed that God would help me to edify others & allow my speech to be a sweet sound to His ears. It’s so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts & speech… I believe that we dwell on negativity, when we could use the opportunity to pray for that person/situation & help others by a positive example.
Thank you for the reminder that we all have a responsibility to look inward, & strive to please the only true judge~ our Lord & Savior.
Oh my,, This is just for me!! How I love your posts, Terry, they speak to my heart!!
Thank you Terri. This would be a great illustration for a sermon. This is a good reminder that even our thoughts need to be in the right place, focused on Jesus.
I learn so much from your example! Thank you for always teaching through your own life story!!
Wow…I needed to hear this! Thanks Terri for your wisdom and perspective!
Your blogs are always a blessing! Thank you Terri:)
Oh Terri, SO true! What a happier and blessed life we’d have if we took the time and energy we spend worrying about others and spend that time worshiping God. I’m gonna get started on it right now 🙂
Love this line: Christians are not perfect (not even your spouse!), or they would not need a Savior Who is!
I love that story about the deacon Terri! Lord help us all be such examples. You are so right on in this. Blessings!
Wow. Thanks so much for these posts…it’s amazing how blind I can be to the many forms pride can take…and how blind I can be to the role pride plays in each of my days.
wonderful truths! thank you Terri! 🙂
Terri! Thank you so much for this article and the book recommendations! I know I have a lot to learn in this area!
Terri, such a gentle reminder for all of us!
Terri, thank you for a great reminder to “judge not” and accept everyone, humbling ourselves before God.
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. You are such a gifted writer. But more than that you wear the Lord’s love all over you and you can feel your relationship with our creator. Thank you for being so transparent. I pray that we stop being the Christians that hinder spiritual growth and that we strive to work 100% on ourselves.
Again, Terri, you hit things right where I needed them! I was so glad I had read this prior to today, even though I had not commented yet!
I had to give someone a genuine reproof today, unfortunately in an email. (I much prefer in person, or on the phone.) A young friend of our son’s submitted an emailed resume for an open position in our department to me, to forward appropriately. I reviewed it (company policy), and found it needed a great deal of work to be more professional.
I remembered what you said about being critical (a fault of mine I am also working to overcome) and what Dale Carnegie says in “How To Win Friends And Influence People.” I gently phrased my comments and suggestions to him with the goal of a positive outcome of his improved resume and perhaps an education in professionalism that will result in getting him a job he wants.
Love it !
Enjoying this series on pride ….meaning I hope there’s more to come ! Thank you Terri for sharing the truths you discover .
Blessings,
Georgia
Thanks for sharing your wisdom and perspective. The battle of pride is in all of us. Only way to beat it is Christ.
Not only do you remind us gently of our need to encourage (a real gift) but your life lives out the example. As always, Great Job!
Thank you Terri for reminding me that it is not my job to correct others. It really hit me when you said we are then taking away time from worshing God when we focus on finding fault with others. Your message as always, is a blessing,
Thank you for sharing from Pastor Davey’s book, that was awesome. Lately, I have been constantly reminded that if people just knew how much Jesus loves them, they would make different choices. But how can they know that Jesus loves them if we as Christians don’t show them by our actions? Just as God has shown me mercy and grace, I need to show that to others.
When I read your blog, I like to see where it might apply in my life in that moment. This post wasn’t hard to see where it applied! Directly into my heart. I needed to hear these words today. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you in mighty ways in our lives!
Terri, thank you so much for your blog articles! I love how you take stories from your own life to teach us. I’m blessed by each one!
Such timely wisdom, thank you my friend for inspiring me to be all I was created to be!
I guess I’d better stop “fixing” others and work on #1??? Thx for the reminders! Love that story. I wish I would have been there to do that! It was so perfect. Love your messages…
Thank you Terri for the wonderful reminder. I have read the story before but it definitely is something to remember on a daily basis.
What a beautiful story about the young man and the deacon! I think all too often I’m the gossiper in the pew, waiting for someone to scold the disruption…this is a great reminder to turn off the criticism. Thanks for sharing, Terri!
Made me cry. A lesson to remember… WIN-What’s important Now!