Hold it Down

Dear Lindsey,

Ha ha! I remember Dr. Dobson taught that when teaching children verbiage for referring to certain body parts or bodily functions, we should use caution, because it will be screamed across the church pews, or in the middle of the grocery story or at a grandfather’s funeral. With this in mind, we chose carefully how the Brady Brood would be referring to the bathroom, saying “#1” and “#2”, as they were the lesser of many evils.

However, when it came to the body part, it seemed strange to give it a “code name,” because the code names that I had heard never seemed to soften the sound:

“Mom! My wee-wee hurts!” from across the room didn’t leave anyone guessing what was in pain. “Mom! my piggy is sticking out of my underwear!” just doesn’t sound like a cleaner thing to discuss in public. Pretty much, the body part is just that: a part of the body, and so we didn’t rename it anything special.

When my first son was newly potty-trained, I hadn’t put it together yet that boys usually STAND to use the toilet. oops! So there were a lot of issues -especially in small stalls of public restrooms. Two of us had to fit in there, and I was usually standing in the front, at the target position of his weapon while he sat. I would often say -with urgency in my voice, attempting to avoid getting sprayed- “Hold your penis down! Hold it down!” to get it contained before I got wet.

Once in a public bathroom FULL of ladies, after my 2-year-old son had used the bathroom, I took my turn, while he stood in front of me in the same stall. With tremendous urgency in his voice, but LOUDER than I have ever said it, he said, “Hold your penis down, Mommy! Hold it down!”

I suddenly felt like the girl in the itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini who didn’t want to come out of the water. I was afraid to come out of that stall.

I don’t think it would have mattered if we had renamed the body part.

I just thought you’d enjoy a laugh!

Love ya,
Terri

8 thoughts on “Hold it Down

  1. Lol……..that was too funny Terri! Thanks for the laugh. This comes right before our potty training efforts too, so this will remain fresh in my mind πŸ˜€

  2. Hahaha! Yes — thank you for the laugh (and your very relatable story!) I especially enjoy this story having a 3 year old that is very curious and not shy at all when it comes to talking about his and her body parts!! *pulls at hair*

  3. Very cute Terri. Looking forward to those moments. πŸ™‚
    Here is another good one. My sister was watching a friend’s young foster son and was wondering why he lightly smacked his own butt after he peed. Her friend, who was a single mom, didn’t want to touch his “thingy” as she referred to it, so when she helped him in the bathroom, she would tap his bottom to help “shake it off”! How funny!

  4. Thank you for these funny moments, it helps to liven up the routine of life. I always look forward to connecting with you through your blog. Thanks for the sunshine! πŸ™‚

  5. Thanks for the chuckle, Terri! While I’ve never had any children of my own, I used to babysit my nephew a lot.(He was around 3 when this happened) I thought his parents taught him a clever way to beckon them to the bathroom when he was finished – He’d yell “Ding Dong!” and that meant he needed a little “help”. (The first time he yelled it, my mom was babysitting him and he had to holler it for about 5 minutes until my mom finally asked HIM what that meant. He seemed to think this was common practice at everyone’s house!) He’s 9 now, and I’m pretty sure I’ll never hear those words out of HIS mouth again! Thank God for laughter!!!

  6. Terri,
    Thanks for the laugh! I laughed so hard I cried! I don’t have a son yet but potty training 2 daughters, with butts in the air when they are finished, I love all of those special moments!(preferably in the privacy of my own home!) I love your blog! Thanks for sharing!

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