My Dad is SO Obsessed!

Nate(10), had worn the same shirt for four days straight.  Being an extreme soccer fan, he is often seen wearing a favorite jersey day after day until family members beg the change.  Our trip to Italy for a four-week vacation was just beginning, but I think he was taking my light packing to an unneeded extreme.  My husband ordered him back inside to change into something less “fragrant,” while adding, “Nate, you have to be on your game all the time. You never know what hot chicks we’ll meet today,” in a teasing tone.

 The next morning, same story, different subject: “Brush your teeth; they’re growing hair! Come on! We could run into some hot chicks today,” Chris added fun to the parenting as Nate was sent back in for a date with toothpaste.

By the third offense (need for a shower), Nate knew what warning was coming and said, “I don’t care what ‘hot chicks’ could be there, Dad!”

Later that evening, we were having dinner with some new found friends from Belgium – the only English-speakers we had met thus far. Two teenage boys gave a different dynamic to our dinner conversation, since our kids were younger.  The older said to his brother, “Hey, let’s go to the beach in Maori tomorrow;  there could be some hot chicks there.”  Nate quickly joined the conversation as if he were just one of the guys, “My dad is SO obsessed with hot chicks!”


Nate may not know it yet, but his dad IS obsessed with hot chicks – or at least ONE hot chick –me! OK, that’s what he thinks, so let’s not tell him otherwise. 🙂

His chiding of our boys just reminds me how visually attracted men are. I am grateful to have a faithful man, who disciplines his eyes and mind, but I pray I can help him with that role.

Honestly, I have been saddened to see a person suddenly attractive, taking care of herself, changing into a “clean jersey”, only to find out the reason – that she is newly divorced and “back on the market.”

Chris has a game he plays, and once he told me about it, I jumped into playing it too. He likes to pretend that every year we have a chance to end our marriage and choose anyone else. He says that he takes it upon himself to make sure that he is the one whom I would choose again. He knows the qualities I love (because I’ve told him!) and he works hard to be the best at them. So I took it upon myself to do the same. If he could start over tomorrow, would he choose me? Would I be THE hot chick?  Am I the playmate he married – throwing football for fun on a crisp fall day, singing in the rain, laughing out loud at his jokes? Do I make him feel more important than all of the other people with whom I deal? Am I doing MY best to keep my health (because angels can do no more!) so he knows my efforts for his physical attraction?   Is my beauty on the inside one of which he can be proud? So often, I feel like I fail, (and I’m glad the marriage contract lasts through that! Ha!) but with the goal set to be THE one, I can get back up and try again.  One thing I know: he is obsessed with a hot chick, and I am blessed he chooses me.


19 thoughts on “My Dad is SO Obsessed!

  1. Terri, I love your story from Italy! It reminds me of our daughter as a toddler telling people at the grocery store, “This is my Hot Momma!” LOL! Really, I was more embarrassed than grateful in that moment. Your post reminds me to appreciate the fact that (my dh) Chris sees me as “hot” and shows that love in front of our children. How blessed we both are for the “Chris” in our lives.

  2. Thank you for the critical reminder! I am forever grateful for not only this blog, but the books you’ve recommended at leaderships in the past that delve deeper in these sometimes sensitive topics of men being visual! They have really, really opened my mind (and slapped me around a bit :o)! Thank you!

  3. Terri what a great story! I’m not Married but, i hope to be oneday lol. I always admire your marriage to chris from the cd’s and how you guys are with eachother on stage. So thankful to be apart of the team and have the information to have a successful marriage in this day and age.

  4. You sure do now how to share the truth in a fun way. Great story and a great reminder! Thanks for admonishing us to do better! BTW… gave an inspiring analogy at ladies leadership! Thanks for all you do. God Bless!

  5. Terri,
    What an awesome story. We have a (now adult) kid we used to have to strong-arm into clean clothes, showers and the like. (Thankfully, he’s finally got the habit now that he’s an adult and far too big to wrestle into doing what he doesn’t want to do!!)
    I remember hearing Chris relate the game he plays with you on CD. How refreshing that you have decided to play it, too. I am very thankful that we are part of a team that takes marriages and our commitments to them so seriously!

  6. Hi, I joined TEAM in May of this year and am so blessed because of it. All that I am learning, and applying to my life is astonishing. Unfortunately my marriage of 20 years ended before TEAM came into my life. I know with certainy that had TEAM come first, we would still be together. So, I will just continue to grow and learn and know that I can help others, be a role model to my children, and, if I am blessed with another chance at marriage, I will be a much better partner. Thanks to u and all of our leaders for the impact u make in our lives 🙂 karla

  7. What a great “obsession” and a great example of living out a marriage rooted in God’s word! I can say you and Chris being transparent and intentional about sharing marriage wisdom! I know our marriage is richer because of what we have learned through the Team and LIFE! I love that our children get a better picture of a biblical marriage because of what we have been able to learn!

  8. You and Chris are such great teachers whether on stage or at home. Thank you for inspiring us esp. in our couple life, in our parenting and in living our relationship with God. We pray for you and all the LIFE leaders and your families.

  9. I love that game you guys play! I will for sure, someday when I have my one, use that game to make sure I am doing my best to be the one for him too! Thanks Terri for all your amazing insight and leadership!!

  10. Thank you for this post. My husband and I recently read His Needs, Her Needs (at the requested suggestions of my awesome friends Jessica and Mike Hilmes and Angie and Scott Ballah), and it’s really helped us become (again) the fun people we fell in love with. We’re still working on it of course, but this post reminded me to reread the His Needs, Her Needs leisure inventory we completed a month ago!

    Thanks for the post!
    -Shand Penrod

    P.S. The “attractive spouse” section of the book, similarly as discussed in your post, helped, too. It made my sweetie realize that I care about my looks even when we’re alone for a reason–for him!–and he appreciated that more now. It also made HIM start taking better care of himself.

  11. I echo Lindsey Spiewak and add my own thanks for your leadership, mentorship and friendship… We are bless to have TEAM, and all aof you in our lives.

  12. Thank you for sharing!!!! I love how transparent and honest you are. I appreciate all you do to keep marriages together.

  13. Terri!
    Happy New Year and thank you for that post. I recently asked Raymond if he had it to do over again would he choose me again with the same intensity he did when we were dating and I was pleased to hear him say “YES”. Yet, I went further to ask more questions to stay on my “game” with the man ordained for me.

    Your lessons on marriage continue to bless my life and the statement of “angels can do no more” is one that I gave you credit for a few times, but is now mine…LOL

    Love ya!

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