But For the Grace of God

Dear Lindsey,

This week in Guatemala has been blessed with friendships, new and old. Susie

Jen, Tracey, Susie and I at final night dinner out

Hallstrand and Tracey Avereyn have been friends of mine for the best parts of a couple of decades. Susie’s nursing knowledge combined with her ability to always see the needs of others –team members or strangers – was irreplaceable. Tracey chose to read to the three special needs children of Dorie’s promise instead of playing outside with the children daily, yet her fruits of the Spirit were also evident in her gentle reaction when a child accidentally pressed, “delete all,” on her camera.  My friend, Jen Korte, (who invited us to go on this trip since she has been here many times), and I have a friendship that makes up in depth what it lacks in years, as God gave me a soul sister on the soccer sidelines. But here in Guatemala, I feel like I have met the “real Jen,”: the Jen that has an insatiable desire to help others in need, in the name of Christ.

Each morning, our team would meet with the FCI Missions director, Joel Juarez, who would go over a devotion, which kept us focused on our purpose, when the pain of surroundings tried to distract. In the evenings, we would meet again and each member would state a high and low of the day: the returned smile from an apprehensive toddler, the reciprocated English “God bless you!” of the teen, the boy who said, “I have only had the bones, but I wonder what the chicken tastes like,” and more.  The quality of the hearts of the people in the room was astounding. Two team-members, Sue and Kari, even brought their children (Belen -5 and Wilmer -10) with them whom they had adopted from Dorie’s before international adoptions closed.  They, along with Jen, returned with a promise not to leave the others behind, and spent their week sorting through hundreds of pounds of donations they had stuffed into extra luggage. Liz’s heart was on her sleeve and kept our eyes “leaking” love; Kate’s smile lit the room when she spoke of her daughter’s fundraising; David and Bin said they were nervous around children, but that never showed, and they’ll be fantastic parents to the baby they are expecting through adoption from Korea within a year; Nate was seeking a way to serve and found the group solely by internet searching, but it was hard to catch him without a baby in his hands!; Sheryl could be a stand-up comedian with her Jersey humor and kept me taking notes so I could laugh again later;  (We nick-named her “Jersey”, and because she kept adding “ario” to words to try to sound Spanish, we later called her “Jerseyario”.)  Diane showed such leadership with the kids – they would follow her anywhere, but her true strength showed when she served through a migraine yesterday. Tracy (different from Tracey) and her daughter, Alex (10), were blessings of peace under fire.  The team made the perfect parts of the body of Christ to serve together on this trip.

With such great teammates, I wanted to capture more than just my own thoughts of the week, so I invited them to write for my blog. Tracey took me up on it (below), and I am hoping some of the others will attach comments to bless us all.

In the words of Tracey Avereyn:

When the invite to go on a mission trip to Guatemala appeared in my life,

Tracey and I in front of “the dump” community entrance

my enthusiasm for the idea grew from a couple of seeds.  The first was the opportunity to go and make a difference…to be active hands and feet of the Lord Jesus Christ as instructed in Scripture.  The second was much more selfish.  I know people who had returned from similar trips and had shared how blessed they had been through the experience…blessings from learning the stories of others, travelling to other countries, gaining perspective and developing (or even fine tuning) a scale against which to audit myself in such areas as character and faith.  And I wanted that.

And now our trip with Forever Changed International and the Dorie’s Promise Orphanage is beginning to wind down.  And this is where the rubber meets the road.  What will I do with what I’ve learned…what I’ve seen?  How will I be different going forward?  What will I be doing differently in the days to come?  And, I can honestly say that I don’t have all of that figured out quite yet.  But I know one thing…I will give thanks to God, because the one thought that continued to rest on my mind is, “There but for the grace of God, go I.” 

This week I’ve met families who live in homes that would fit within the bedroom walls of my 7-year-old.  “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

I looked into the sad eyes of 14 year old teen mothers…placed into this situation primarily by abuse…abandoned by family…living in a government-operated orphanage.  I considered my own 12 and 14 year old daughters.  “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

Our team bought thousands of pieces of used clothing for $112 to be distributed among the residents of a shantytown community situated on the edge of the dump.  These people make their living among the vultures that oversee this chasm in the city rummaging for items discarded by another that they can sell in order to feed their families.  A luxury item in this place is a concrete floor…a roof that doesn’t leak.  “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

Water filters on our bus

We had the pleasure and privilege of delivering 20 portable water filters to a ghetto community that is built along the steep face of a cliff.  The joy evident in the faces of the ladies who received these apparatuses would light the night.  I’m sure they were considering the time saved now that they didn’t have to boil their drinking and cooking water.  Yet, I felt inconvenienced with washing dishes with water that I didn’t have to boil, while waiting for a new dishwasher.  “There but for the grace of God, go I.”

In his first letter to the Thessalonians (1 Thess 5:16-17), the Apostle Paul instructs us to “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances”. And, if I were to be honest with myself, and you too, I must confess that I fail miserably at this charge.  And, this week, I repeatedly met people in much more dire circumstances than I have ever found myself…doing just as Paul instructs.  These people had no say regarding what country and situation they were born into…just as I had no say, yet received the unearned mercy of being born in the United States to a loving family with a committed mother and father. Yet, as we launched into communities in such places as a Guatemala City ghetto or a shantytown set up along the edge of the dump…we repeatedly were experiencing these people giving back to us.  Serving us cups of Coca Cola…praying God’s blessing for us…and assisting us with our various tasks.  I have so much to learn from them. 

Anytime I am leaving a beautiful vacation spot, usually along a beach of one of the Great Lakes, I am always a little frustrated that that beauty is always there whether it is being enjoyed or not.  This week, as we came and went to these places, returning to our comfortable resting spot, it occurred to me that those places of struggle continue to exist whether someone is there to help or not.  There is no escape for those residents.  And as I return to my wonderful country…to the cocoon of my family and friends…I need to give thanks to an almighty Creator because “There but the grace of God, go I”.            - Tracey A.

//

When we are irritated by that slow driver, frustrated with the boss who lacks people skills, judgmental of someone’s response to us in life, may we give thanks to God in all things and humbly recognize that there, but for the grace of God, we go.

And when we feel a tug on our heart of a need to be met, may we, by the grace of God, GO.

In love,

Terri

No Orphans of God

37,000 orphans in Guatemala.

33 adoptions last year.

No orphans of God.

Dear Lindsey,

I am still in Guatemala. The heart-wrenching is good for the soul.  I haven’t had time to write every day, but I thought I would try to synopsize a bit so you can get the idea.  Feel free to skip to the “Thoughts to Ponder” if your time is too limited for reading my diary :).

MONDAY:

Dorie’s Promise, the privately owned orphanage on the property where we are staying, has 38 children right now.   That seems like a lot: to grow up with 37 siblings. 38 people at the dinner table. 38 people’s worth of laundry, food, sickness, chaos, etc. It breaks my heart that they don’t have a mom they can “go home to” and tell the story of their day.

Yet, I realized what a difference Dorie’s Promise is making in those 38 lives, when we went to the state-run orphanage, which has up to 1000 children under the age of 18. We focused on those most ignored:  sixty with special needs and twenty young mothers (age 13-17), who had been raped and left or abused, so they were brought to the orphanage by police.

We brought cake and activities. Smiles and hugs. We tried not to notice lice or deformed faces, not to think of how the baby’s arm was broken or how the mentally retarded girl now has a baby.  I tried not to flinch, when grabbed from behind, as they reached out only to be touched. Give me Your eyes today, Jesus. May I see them as Your children and lift them to see themselves that way.

One young retarded boy helped another in a wheelchair by taking his plate to the trash. He licked the other one’s plate as he walked, and I realized what a gift the cake must have been.  A young mother needing dialysis three times/week is about to be back on the street since her 18th birthday is approaching. So much “out of my control,” it’s hard to think about.

TUESDAY:

We woke to treat the “special mothers” (women who work long shifts here and love the children of Dorie’s Promise more than just a job) to a breakfast and devotion in our house, while we went next door to take care of the orphans. I LOVED reading a book aloud to the children (I’m sure my gringo accent was half of the amusement.), and they came running to fight for lap space as soon as I sat with the libro.  Painting nails, making beaded necklaces, coloring and finger painting were special activities for all. The other amusement was my camera that takes videos. “Por favor foto?” they would ask, and pose with different combinations of children to vie for the spotlight. This cutie, Hilary, surprised me with her belly dancing. Aaah!! Easy to love the lovable! Nayeli had a different interpretation of dance, but both RAN to see what I had filmed. :)

street entrance to dump

After the morning with Dorie’s kids, we headed to the city dump, a large area where another ghetto community has been built. The repelling stench increased our desire to stay on the bus, but our team, favorably greeted by residents, forced ourselves through the trash-sorting area to get to the community of 150 homes made of cardboard, cinder blocks and tin. Approximately 3 families per home lived in this community full of roaming children and dogs. The dirt paths were speckled with color, reminding me that we were standing…ie, they were living… on a mountain of trash. I could see the bottom of a Croc surfacing.  I pray the people don’t associate themselves with the trash beneath but with the God above.

Toddlers and babies everywhere made me see the burden of fertility and I was beginning to forget the blessing.  An old man, weathered as much from the sun as from the years, suddenly leaned down to kiss a baby who lay unattended, near where I stood. As the baby received the kiss, both the great-grandpa and the baby instantly yielded smiles, as if the weight of the world were lifted. “My great-grand-daughter!” he announced to me, proudly pointing to the baby’s married 16-yr-old mother beside him.  I felt like I had received a post-it note from God: “I am still here. Don’t grow weary.”

“Road” inside dump community

Part of the $975 cost to attend this trip with Forever Changed, included buying things to supply some needs of this area.  At the dump, the money was used for “pilas”. A pila is a 500-pound cement sink basin, which seemed like an odd request if they are not washing dishes.  However, a pila, to them, means income, because they can use the water to clean things that have been “dumped” there, and then sell the cleaned treasures on the streets.  As we delivered our gifts, I realized we were trying to live out the philosophy taught in the book, When Giving Hurts, so that we don’t hinder people by our gifts.

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WEDNESDAY

At our own devotional time this morning, Joel told us that Dorie’s Promise was so

Mural on the play-yard wall.

named because an orphan, Dorie, who had been abused and moved from home to home, had been given a Bible and the words, “Jesus loves you,” by a missionary. She had hung to those words and The Word through much abuse afterward, but eventually devoted her life to giving back and helping orphans. Such a small seed was planted, and although the missionary never saw the fruit, God did, and still is.

.

After devotions, we went back to the ghetto today – the one we had visited Sunday.  This time we carried twenty water filter systems. (They look like 20-gal Britta filters.) One woman wept when she walked into the room and saw the filters, before we gringos even began to speak.  The woman from our team whose 10-yr-old daughter had raised the money for the filters (selling hair clips) also wept, while the recipients expressed their gratitude. It was as much of a blessing to give as to receive.

POINTS TO PONDER

1. United States is rich. I once heard that people on welfare in the U.S. have a higher average income than 85% of the world. In essence, Americans are all rich in comparison. I used to be judgmental of rich people, assuming they were materialistic and loving money more than God.  “Good people do good things with money,” my husband fought back when I tried to squelch his ambition to start a money-making business over a decade ago. “If good people don’t use their God-given ambitions, who will be there to help when a need arises?” he had asked me. No one on this missions team is unambitious: Surgeons’ wives, business owners, nurses and CEO wives were blessed by God to be able to help in time of need. I am so thankful for them!

2.  “What if it’s a scam?!” “What if your money doesn’t really go to helping anyone?” “What if the people are pretending to be poor, taking off their shoes when you arrive, just so you will give them more?” “What if they take your gifts and destroy them the next week, since they didn’t earn them and don’t appreciate them.”

People who have been here don’t ask those questions.

3.  I think a definition of “hell” for me would be to be surrounded by people with needs that I cannot meet. Hungry children. A teen with kidney failure. A diabetic grandfather who lives at the dump. A 60-yr-old woman who tumbled down the concrete stairs of the ghetto last week. A 5-yr-old with a tumor on his eye. Those have been the low points of this week. Yet, how prideful I am! To think that I am the only one who can help?! That I have control over whether needs are met?!  My pastor said it well:  “It’s not, ‘I do my best and let God do the rest.’ That’s wrong.” (I myself have been guilty of saying that!) “The real statement,” he said, “is ‘God does it all. Period.’

I am thankful that I do not have to carry all the weight on my shoulders. God has this. Every day of these people’s lives has been made by Him to make them who they need to be.  Maybe one of them will be the next Dorie.  I just want to be quiet enough they hear His voice. As our director, Joel, says, “I want to disappear, and let God be seen.”

One little stone changed two nations forever.  (1 Sam 17 – David and Goliath) That was our devotion one day this week. What little stone could you be throwing with God’s might behind it?! Today, Joel said in his broken English as he ended our devotion time: “You know those people who say they are going to change the world? And everyone thinks they are crazy? They are doing it.”

“God doesn’t respond to our needs, He responds to our Faith.” –Joe DarkAngelo

May the people of Guatemala have faith in Him.

Con carino de Cristo,

Terri

Blessings that Stick

Dear Lindsey,

I am in Guatemala!

“I don’t think I have ever smiled so much and spoken so little,” my friend, Susie said today. I guess that’s what happens when you dive into playing with children of an orphanage in a land of a foreign tongue. Jen, a Michigan soccer mom friend of mine extended her heart beyond imagination all the way to children in Guatemala. She has visited Dorie’s Promise, a private orphanage in Guatemala City, many times, and invited Susie, Tracey and me to go to the land for our hearts to grow. Forever Changed International is a charity which not only supports the orphanage, but also aids the poverty-stricken within Guatemala City.

Today was our first full day, and many apprehensions were cleared, while the chains of our hearts loosened. We are staying in an adjoining house that sleeps 20. We are with other Americans from Oregon, New York, New Jersey, Michigan, and California.

First thing this morning was church. After boarding a hired bus, about 20 of the 39 orphans came onto the bus and jumped onto our laps, clearly familiar with how the “volunteer team” works. The Holy Spirit transcended any language barriers in the 8am church service, as His name lifted the roof of worship for my English ears in a Spanish world.

Afterward, we took the orphans to the park where the laugh of a 3-yr-old child (whom I was teasing with tickling on the swing) was a universal language. Those children went back to their house, which runs like a never-ending daycare; except it runs 24 hours-a-day, 7 days-a-week and is so much more permanent now that international adoption is closed.

Next, our team of volunteers left the grounds to go to one of the many ghettos in Guatemala City. As we drove, Joel, the angel who works for Forever Changed International (FCI), and hosts and translates for us for the week, explained that ghettos begin when a group of a hundred just sets up a camp on city property. The sheer numbers prevent authorities from removing them. “They begin with 100, and some cardboard homes,” Joel continued, pointing to a relatively new cardboard ghetto as we drove past. “Over time, the people add more and more, and eventually end up with something like the ghetto we will visit today.”

When the bus finally stopped at the appointed place, we were immediately surrounded by children, so excited to see the “gringos” (slang for white people) bringing gifts. I began to wish they would not think it was the color of my skin that was the giver, but the God whom I worship who was giving them gifts.

Jen handed me stickers she had brought from the states, and I began giving them to the children, while she handed other gifts. We walked through the streets, followed by a crowd who loved “the day the gringos come” (first Sunday of the month for this particular location). We carried stuffed animals, food baskets and two piñatas to end our day with a party. I overheard Tracey ask Joel, “How do you say, ‘God loves you’ in Spanish?”

Perfect! I thought. I can tell these children God loves them, while I hand out stickers.

I continued handing out stickers. “Que dios te bendiga! [God bless you!]” I said as I pressed a sticker onto each hand and looked deeply into their eyes.

I hate poverty.

Seeing ominous clouds coming in our direction, I pictured what these homes would look like when the storm hit. This ghetto was more established than the ones we passed, so walls were made of cement, or built into the side of the mountain, but I could picture the noise of rain pounding on the tin roofs, leaking through, while ten people huddled in the middle with one square foot each. Each “building” was smaller than my 8-yr-old’s room, and I never saw a bathroom. Pots and pans adorned the shelf next to the bed, but I never saw food, except once: Corn hung from the ceiling of one place to dry. The woman grew the corn on her own in “free land” a mile and a valley away where she planted corn and hauled it back to dry, in order to grind it for flour to make tortillas on the open fire on cinder blocks in the “hallway”. She had tortillas cooking under her close watch, hoping to sell them tonight for profit. (The cynic in me couldn’t help but wonder if a president thought he had helped her start that business.)

We continued our walk, stopping at houses to meet residents and ended in the park for play and piñatas. Word got out that I had “stampas” and children flocked to me. I practiced my Spanish, asking if they wanted the princess sticker or the flower. “Que dios te bendiga [God bless you!],” I said with each gift.

A sticker brought delight to these kids who probably wondered when/if the next meal would come. One baby had a “crib” which was a blanket tied to the ceiling “beams” with rope, as a hammock above an adult bed. My legs ached at the hill climbing and uneven steps OSHA would never approve.

I still hate poverty.

Corn hanging to dry within the room

In my mind, I raced to solve the issues…a new roof for that one? Cement floors so the dirt doesn’t wash away under the leaky roof? Running water?

How did they get here?

Education? – if they only knew a better way. Do they know the Hiding Place where they can go? Do they know that heaven will be better?

Thoughts pounded, and children enjoyed our presence.

“Better is one day in heaven than a thousand on earth,” I thought. I am grateful for the volunteers here. “Well done, my good and faithful servant!” will surely be heard by Joel, FCI, Jen and the hearts that surround the work to make this place better for these 400+ children in this one ghetto alone.

But I look forward to heaven for those residents. One minute of eternity will erase all hunger pangs from a life here.

I prayed for the children while I watched them race for candy, a temporary joy amidst the struggle called life.

Suddenly, a group of young teen girls approached me, interrupting my thoughts. The four giggled incessantly, as though from my American neighborhood. They all looked on in anticipation, while they egged each other to ask a question. Finally, one stepped up and asked:

“Como se dice ‘Que dios te bendiga’ en Ingles? [How do you say, “Que dios te bendiga” in English?]“

“God bless you,” I answered. They each repeated it slowly, practicing, trying to cement it to memory to be retrieved later. I was overjoyed by their approach.

I hope that when the “gringos” are gone tonight – as the rain pours outside – that those children remember His name above all else.

God bless those children,

Terri

It’s not Where but Who

Dear Lindsey,

After Nate (12) looked at my photos on my iPad from last year’s trip to Bora Bora, he said, (conniving a trip for himself) “I think Dad’s next book should be: A week of Bora Bora“! Continue reading

Perceptive Perspective (I hope)

Dear Lindsey,

The kids were rewarded for delivering drugs! That’s all I remember from my college spring break trip to Washington D.C. We handed out food in a Continue reading

Tiramisu Recipe

Dear Lindsey,

I know it’s hard to read about the cooking class and not be interested in the recipes!! You know me, I try to save my sugar treats for Sundays (but it didn’t stop me from enjoying some of my daughter’s warm gingerbread with applesauce last night -oops!) , so here is a recipe of a special treat. Only 5 things needed from the grocery store!  Oh yeah, and if you are making it for a friend who doesn’t love coffee as much as you and I do, then hot chocolate could suffice.

Enjoy!

Terri

Tiramisu

 

-       5 eggs (fresher is better, room temp)

-       10T fine sugar

-       Approximately 2 C coffee (I use stove-top espresso maker.)

-       500 Gr (1lb) Marscarpone cheese

-       one pinch of salt

-       1 box lingue di gatto – (Pavesini or saviardi) (I (Terri) use Pepperidge Farm Milano cookies – 2 packages per recipe- amazing addition!)

-       Bitter chocolate drops or cocoa powder- Tradition calls for cocoa powder.   (I use Hershey’s dark cocoa powder.)

  1. Mix the egg yolks with the sugar, whipping until they are white-ish and doubled in volume.
  2. Prepare coffee and let it cool down.
  3. Add the cheese to the egg yolks, progressively to reach maximum whipping speed. Let the mixer mount the cheese very firmly.
  4. In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites and the pinch of salt, until stiff.
  5. Fold egg whites into the egg yolk/cheese mixture.
  6. In a serving dish, layer a spoonful of this tiramisu cream. Then take the cookies, one by one and dip them briefly in the coffee; lay them side by side in the bottom of the dish on top of the cream.  Pour another layer of cream, then “coffeed” cookies. Put the cream and the cookies (dipped in coffee) in alternating layers until top of dish or out of ingredients.
  7. Over the last cream layer, sprinkle the chocolate drops or cocoa powder. Tradition is cocoa powder.

The right proportion is 100g marscarpone , one egg and 2T  sugar for every person.

“Venice and Treviso claim the origin of this dessert, both towns were famous in the 1600’s for their art… This dessert was an instant boost in energy for them, coffee, sugar, eggs and cookies. Exactly the PICK ME UP – this is what tiramisu means –they needed between…tasks.”  Semi-quoted from my class’s notes.

Cooking with Class

This may be the longest blog post EVER!  I post it this holiday week, so you can sit back with a cappuccino and  enjoy a journey to a kitchen in Italy.  Being from my journal during our recent trip, it is not a lesson, but an experience. I hope one day you too can enjoy an Italian Cucina cooking class !

Cooking with Class in Alessandra’s Cucina

Miercoledi, 29 Gungno, 2011, Il Trebbio, Cortona, Italy

Because in my original email Alessandra had indicated she was available July 29th, and I had to correct her to June 29th, I was a bit afraid I had the wrong day, even if at the right place.  I was five minutes early.  Her store, Il Girasole(The Sunflower), which was under the theatre, was still boarded up like a storage bin.  I found a quiet place in the shade to wait, watching the street full of Italians and foreigners of all languages.

Cortona, Italy

Soon, a Jeep pulled up and a shorthaired woman in her late forties walked toward the garage featuring the Il Girasole sign. She hefted the large green barricade and hid it away into the ceiling, revealing an adorable shop of table linens.

“Alessandra?” I asked from behind.

“Si!” she said.

“I’m Terri Brady.  Here for cooking class?”

I laugh at how although I speak English as my only language, somehow while speaking to foreigners, I tend to chop it up as if I am only allowed nouns and hand gestures.  “Me: Terri” (pointing to me). “You: Alessandra” (pointing to her). “Cooking class?” and I stir an imaginary pot.

“Sure!” she says. “Wanna come into my store and wait for the others?”

It was the most American English I had heard from a native. “Wanna” was such casual slang.

“You drive a Jeep?” I asked, surprised by the American car, but sharing a love for her particular choice.

“Yes,” she said, “and a motorcycle.”

I am not sure what I had expected: more prim? More fashionable? I don’t know, but I was feeling silly that I had fretted over what to wear, or if I should have smoothed my hair and whether I would be offending someone if I turned down wine.  But Alessandra was real.  I knew immediately I would like her, but wasn’t sure if she’d like me.

She got out her laptop and busily printed color photo-quality recipe books and information packets for the day’s class.  I was amused by the irony of my iPhone and her photo printer in the middle of Cortona, which, as one of the oldest hilltop towns of Tuscany, rivaled Sienna and Arezzo during the Middle Ages.

The next class members walked in, and an “attitude-full” pre-teenager was ambiance changing.  The mother who was in her fifties, beside her two daughters, age 13 and 12, hurriedly explained that the reason they were late was the “trafficko” in the mountains was horrible – as if adding an “o” to a very American pronunciation of a word made it Italian – and as if someone had asked her why they were late.  The newcomer went on to explain that she had been coming to Italy for 20 years and had bought a villa, or two or three on the other side of  “the mountain,” – as if someone had asked.  Pride is unattractive in all its forms.  I’m afraid my annoyance may have been equally unattractive, so I attempted to hide it.

The 12-year-old stood with one hip jutted and arms crossed, as if someone had better prove to her soon that today was worth her time.  When Alessandra spoke to the girls, the younger’s position and tone didn’t change – showing the lack of respect that can make everyone within the room cringe.  I suppose it wasn’t an option to leave the younger at home, when the older clearly had more of an interest in cooking.

Alessandra went back to her computer while I browsed the hundreds of tablecloths and cloth napkins.  So beautiful! Yet they were so unpractical, because my four children would stain them within one meal.  They were true linens – the kind you hand wash in cold water and line dry for three minutes before ironing to dry the rest of the way.  I owned four placemats like these once but ruined them in their first and only meal and have lived with plastic ones, no tablecloth, ever since.

“Alessandra!” a man said as in full recognition of his old friend as he and his wife entered the store with beaming smiles.  She left the computer and went to receive her guests with a kiss on each cheek.  Randy and Brenda completed our set of six students, and they blew into the room with a fresh ray of sunshine that broke through the pollution that had hung there moments before.

Based on that excited greeting, I asked Randy when he had met her or taken the class before; he said he had never met Alessandra; he was just excited to be there.  How refreshing and contagious is enthusiasm, I thought.

We walked from Il Girasole to the coffee shop across the town square. Alessandra told us to go inside and pick out a pastry, then come outside and order a “caffe’” or whatever we preferred.

I picked something that looked scrumptious, and even more so as the tongs compressed it nearly 50% when the baker picked it out of the display case.  The sugar crystals made the whole surface shimmer and my mouth water like Pavlov’s dogs.  We went to the table and ordered five cappuccini – with one hot chocolate – and one “coffee, as cold as you can get it,” for Alessandra, who began to tell us all about Italian cuisine and herself.  She started by saying she didn’t care what anyone thought of her and the saying that “the customer is always right” is only true in America.

“Here in Italia, the customer is right when the customer is right; and if the customer is wrong, then he’s wrong and I am right.”

I liked her more and more.

“Italian cuisine is really ‘make do with what you have.’” She explained. “Risotto was really a poor man’s dish, invented because northern Italians could solely grow rice.”

The man brought our drinks. My cappuccino had a heart drawn with cocoa powder on top of the milk froth – consistent with the art that was behind all of their food, as I was beginning to notice.

Alessandra went on to explain that milk in Italy is a food, not a drink, so Italians don’t order cappuccino with food, but as food.  Espresso (or Italian coffee) more likely accompanies food, as in dessert, but is usually “thrown back” as a shot of whisky, not sipped like we Americans do.  In her science and art of coffee, she helpfully explained that Italian coffee has less caffeine than American because of its fast brew time and low volume.

“American coffee takes more time and caffeine from the beans and it shows by the quantity.”

I was amused with the confidence in her statement, as if she had just completed her degree to be a dietician, and her thesis was on “caffeine consumption comparisons.”  I grinned despite myself and socked away all this new coffee truth.

She continued to elaborate as we intently listened, notebooks emerging from purses.  “Pelegrino Artusa was the original cook in Italy and responsible for the cuisine’s fame.”  I was surprised and encouraged when I learned that Italian cooking was truly simple, made from few ingredients.

“I laugh when I find recipes online, claiming to be Italian, yet they have so many ingredients! Obviously made up by a foreigner!” she said, as she told us that pasta had three ingredients, bread four, and as we would see later today, tiramisu had five.

We bonded as new friends from far locations.  I watched as the woman who “didn’t care what people thought” caressed her clients with kind words. “I like your daughters – especially that one,” she said, pointing to the jutted-hip opinionated doll.  “She reminds me of me.  That’s why I’m not letting her get away with anything.  But I am glad they came.”

We rose to start our day of Italian cooking – beginning with shopping.  At home, my shopping for our family of six involves an approximately two-and-a-half hour escapade once a week.  I fill almost two carts and pay about $400.  There are some fresh items that last maybe two or three days, and then we live from the apples, bananas and the pantry or freezer for the other four days.

Italy grocery shopping was completely different.  Chris even went to the grocery store here! I can count on my fingers the number of times he has done that during our marriage, but this was the first time he had ever gone without a list from me, since he had been out on his motorcycle alone.  He came home so triumphant and proud.  It was as if he had killed a bison with his bare hands – making cheese from the milk; slaying it for its leather; carving knives from its bones; filling its bladder with drinking water, and cutting meat from it for a year of family provision.  Of course, he came home with about a day’s worth of groceries, but that does feel like quite a victory when battling a crowd of a different language and customs.

Apart from the difficulty of reading the ingredients made necessary due to Nathaniel’s food allergies, there’s the fact that you weigh your own fruit and vegetables and label it with a sticker – preferably before you enter the checkout line with ten people behind you.  Also, here you must estimate how many sacks you will need, because you have to purchase them while you are buying your items.  Families are small here, so quantities are too.  Milk comes in one-liter bottles, and is almost always the shelf-stable variety to save refrigeration costs in the store.  Chicken breast comes four filets to the quarter-pound.  More common meats are wild boar, any part of a pig in sausage or prosciutto, and rabbit.  Of course, Alessandra was shedding light as to why we, the foreigners, were the only ones in the supermarket who actually rented a cart (you have to temporarily pay one Euro to use one) and bought bags.  Everyone else must do their shopping almost daily as she was showing us.

“Italians like to buy everything fresh daily, and ‘make do’ with what’s available,” she said as we walked down the cobble streets of Cortona in an ensemble of seven.  The old town seemed so alive with people.  I had been to Cortona before, but as a tourist seeing everything for sale as a “trap” for us.  This time was different. I was walking with a native Italian who said “hi” to her friends and gave to the beggars whom she seemed to know by name.  They didn’t ask her, just expected.  We were buying fruit, vegetables and meat from the frutteria and the butcher shop within the old city, not the supermarket down in the newer part of town where our family had been going.  These stores, by which I had walked so many times when we toured these old towns, now had personality and purpose, as I saw the way the locals convene there.

The outside front of the frutteria was laden with familiar fruits and some not so familiar.  Alessandra warned us that the storeowners prefer to do the fruit touching, so I supposed I would not be taste-testing the grapes that seemed to be calling my name.  We entered through a narrow door for a skinny person, down three stairs to the real store, as the storeowner put some fruit in a bag for the beggar.  The store was lined floor-to-ceiling with trays of fruits and vegetables, and the stench was such a combination I could not identify one ingredient.  Alessandra said aloud her list and the worker busily went from basket to basket, gathering.  No refrigerator doors were there to slow her down.

Carota, sedano, cipolla, zucchini fiori…che? No fiori?”

What? No zucchini flowers? What would we do? I had never heard of a use for them, so I didn’t know what she was planning anyway.  Despite that, I didn’t trust my Italian enough to know if we were really disappointed that she had no zucchini flowers.

“…sette fico…” Seven Figs?! Oh! Just the sight of the figs made my heart skip! I had been introduced to them in Maori, when the fruit shop owner was shocked that I had asked what they were.

Fico?! You don’t know fico?!” He seemed appalled as he broke one open with his thumbs and insisted my daughter and I try a bite.  There was no charge – as if his only payment was watching our enjoyment at such a wonderful, new taste.  I had had figs in the States before, but they were classified more as weapons than fruit.  These figs were amazing, almost dissolving in our mouths with no chewing required.  I wondered what we would be doing with figs today during our time in Alessandra’s Italian Cucina.

Next, we went to the butcher shop.  I have seen a couple of these in every old hilltop town we have visited across the Tuscan countryside.  Large legs of cured meat are strung from the ceiling and walls.  It had not dawned on me until this moment that clearly these shops were not the tourist traps I had labeled them.  I had never seen a tourist carrying an animal’s cured leg (or shoulder, as ours turned out to be) while walking down the street behind a tour guide.  The shops were real, active suppliers of fresh foods for the locals.

After greeting her friend the butcher, Alessandra explained to us that all of the meat was labeled due to law, with the serial number of the animal, the farm from which it came, and the day and hour when it was killed.  The label was proudly displayed inside the glass case, or hanging on the hook with its meat.

There was chicken – whole ones, not the thin filets of the grocery store, and also goose, ostrich, prosciutto – hind quarter or shoulder, sausages, rabbit and various cuts of beef – all with the serial number and dates attached to ensure freshness.  The sausages have come to be a local favorite of mine – a flavor I haven’t had in the states, yet they lack the processing and preservatives for which sausage is infamous at home.

We bought an eye of round beef for the stove top roast and some chicken and beef to mince for our olive meatballs and ragu’.  We took our purchases, along with some others (flours, etc) that Alessandra had bought elsewhere and headed to the taxi waiting for us at Il Girasole.

As our taxi headed out of the old town of Cortona on the narrow one-way exit road, a motorcyclist zoomed past us and waved with a smile.  It was Alessandra, driving faster so she could hit a different vegetable stand and get some zucchini flowers so we could “make do.”

We drove ten minutes to arrive at her home, a humble abode on a bumpy road amid a cluster of similar two-story “typical” country homes with large wood shutters.  Walking in, I was struck by the air-conditioned air, which was a treat given that the temperature outside was reaching into the high 90’s F.

The front door opened into a marble-top dining table with a well-organized kitchen and preparation island behind it.  A couch and television to the right made the family room and the kitchen into a rectangle.  The stairs left of the table led to the only bathroom and three bedrooms upstairs. The door beside the stove in the back right led out to the garden, with a garden shed and an outside dining area for cooler days than this.  Although a small home (perhaps 1300 square feet) by American standards, the only hallway closet visible was filled with table linens.

The family room was lined with shelves of books and a shelf of DVD’s – from which our pre-teen student selected Harry Potter when she was “tired of cooking” at 12:30.  It amused me to see John Grisham and Anthony Robbins in their Italian form on her bookshelves, but explained a bit of her evident American intellect.

Alessandra’s husband, 13-yr-old son, and 9-yr-old daughter stayed outside for the majority of our eight-hour home takeover.  I hope she left them some food!

We began our cooking as I presume most cooks do – with chopping.  Celery, carrots and onions were chopped, or at least prepared for the food processor.  I felt smug because the night before (without any Italian cooking class) I had stir-fried celery, carrots, onions and zucchini, then tossed them with basil, tomatoes, and extra virgin olive oil in pasta for the family.  Maybe I wasn’t that far off of becoming an authentic Italian cook.  Maybe I was a natural.

“Italians never stir-fry,” Alessandra began, as if reading my mind and zapping my obnoxious pride.  Soffrito, as she called the three-vegetable combination, is cooked slowly in olive oil so it gets flavorful, but never brown.  I smiled, inwardly remembering how my browned vegetables had colored the whole pasta the night before.

We would be using the soffrito for the Polpettine di olive (olive- flavored meatballs), as well as the ragu’ , which literally translates as “stew,” although they serve it on top of pasta.  She said it would cook slowly, unattended, for forty-five minutes before we would even add anything else.

In the mean time we put her week’s worth of stale bread in a bowl full of water to soak in preparation for panzanella.  This salad – which is layers of bread and vegetables with herbs and oils on the top – would traditionally be carried to the farm fields or picnics, and tossed upon its arrival.

Next, we went to the marble table where a large wooden board and a flat plastic spatula-type tool awaited us.  Alessandra took out a large container of semolina flour and dumped four medium scoops onto the board.  We separated it to make a hole in the center like a large volcano.  Being the only male, Randy would be the center of much attention today, and he was chosen to begin the pasta making.  He cracked four eggs into the center of the mound, added some olive oil and began mixing the ingredients, using the flat tool to keep the liquid from escaping.

“Have you ever kneaded?” Alessandra asked.

“Only love, here and there,” Randy replied.

Alessandra rolled her eyes, said, “Mama mia!” and then continued in Italian some words of pity toward Randy’s wife, Brenda.

He kneaded it into a soft ball, and Alessandra added more flour pronouncing the dough “too soft.  Pasta dough must be stiff.”  The newly stiff ball was then plopped into lightly covered bowl to sit for hours while we continued the rest of the meal preparations.

“Follow me to the neighbor’s,” she said as she walked out the front door.  We walked down the street and she yelled (no doorbell required) into a second story open window, “Can we take some eggs?”

With permission granted we headed into the barnyard.  The yard, which had more gravel than grass, contained chickens, ducks, geese and various coops of babies lining the borders.  Bunnies had been born two days before, but Alessandra corrected us: “These are not bunnies; these are rabbits,” meaning they are food, not pets.

Alessandra grabbed five eggs from the nests – perfect for the tiramisu that would use raw eggs, so the fresh ones were required.  She helped herself to several twigs from the rosemary bush (for the roast beef) and sage leaves for us to fry.  The new smells and concepts had my tongue curious.

Back at her home we minced the chicken and added it, sausage, and ground beef to the soffrito for the olive balls.  As I chopped the chicken, I was grateful for the sharp knife – one of the 20 attached to her wall on the magnetic strip – since I had been forced to cut with a butter knife all week at our rental villa.

The knives were not the only utensils on display.  Pots hung on hooks on a grid attached to the far wall.  A canister displayed various ladles and pasta forks. A drawer contained fifteen matching spice containers with labeled lids.  Another held matching containers of grain: Spelt, all-purpose-flour, salt, sugar and semolina were the only ones I recognized.

We took turns with the pasta machine – pressing it to thin, then cutting into tagliatelle strips.  Alessandra told us it could be done with a rolling pin, but she had never figured out how, much to the dismay of her neighbors whose average age was eighty.

Our cooking day continued: batter to fry the sage leaves and zucchini flowers, a ceramic knife (which I had never heard of) to cut the apples into thin slices to lay with cheese and honey; rolling and frying of meatballs (never served on spaghetti, by the way), assembling of the wet-bread salad; adding wine (which would of course burn off) to the ragu’ and the “drowning” roast beef with rosemary.

When deep-frying, the oil got too hot and almost caught fire. “I’m estupido,” Randy joked in Americano-Italian.

“You are not stupid, just dangerous!” quipped Alessandra in return as she threw out the half-liter of burned olive oil and started anew.

No flour was added to thicken the “jus” for roast beef; the sauce was just left simmering while we started eating our antipasti.  No sugar was added to take the acidity out of the sauce, because the length of cooking had created the perfect flavor.

“Americans rush cooking too much and then have to add helps to try to fix the problems they’ve created,” Alessandra educated, with the authority of her whole country behind her.

As a working mother, she had no more hours in a day than we did, but she explained how she cooked ragu’ during and after dinner, then took it off and put it in the fridge for the next night’s meal.

To my surprise the herbs (rosemary, garlic, etc) were removed from the dishes before we ate.  Their flavor remained where it was supposed to – in the sauces.

Too hot to eat outside, we set the linen inside for dining at the marble table. We lined up seven plates on the island to “decorate” each one with the six antipasti we had created.

As we took our plates to the table, Alessandra put on a big pot of water to begin boiling.  It was five o’clock, the scheduled end of the class, but we would “make do” and happily continue.  Chris had texted me to “Stay as long as you like,” so I sat to enjoy conversation and food with new friends.

The wine was opened, and after Alessandra turned it down, too, I knew my own refusal would not offend.

After antipasti (of which I devoured every bite), we cooked and drained the homemade tagliatelle, never rinsing so the porous pasta would soak up the ragu’, not the water.  We tossed it with the sauce, then one more ladle on top before serving with cheese, never bread.  Delizioso!

We went on to the beef, thinly sliced (Carpaccio) topped with the cooked-down sauce beside a simple salad, dressed with oil and apple vinegar.  The entire meal came from local ground within a few miles of the table.  This is how food was meant to be, I thought, savoring every mouthful.

The meal was completed with our five-ingredient tiramisu and caffé.  Yum! Grappa was served, supposedly to “aid digestion,” but that shot is so strong I think it only burns the calories before they digest, and burns the stomach lining too!

It was more than two hours past our ending time, as we enjoyed company and let a storm roll through.  I think the day was truly perfetto, and when this customer is right, I’m right.

Brenda, Alessandra and I finito!